Learning to Share

“Mine! Mine!” The animators of the Pixar film Finding Nemo gave the seagulls in just one word: “Mine!” And yet, I remember when it seemed that was the only word my little girl knew. Everything belonged to her, and she was very reluctant to share – food, toys, mommy or daddy’s time and attention. As a toddler, it was developmentally appropriate to see the world revolving around her. Everything she saw (even things she didn’t really want), she claimed as “Mine!” While I was working on this article, a friend of mine “shared” an anonymous humor piece on Facebook called “Property Laws of a Toddler”:

1. If I like it, it's mine.
2. If it's in my hand, it's mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
5. If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.
6. If I'm doing or building something, all the pieces are mine.
7. If it looks just like mine, it is mine.
8. If I saw it first, it's mine.
9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
10. If it's broken, it's yours!

So I immediately “shared” it. Sharing is quite easy on Facebook, right? But in life, sharing is a bit harder to learn (and many adults still hold fast to the above laws).

In the miracle of growing up, my now preschool child is learning to share. This is also normal between the ages of 3-5. First it started with “proto-sharing” – showing others their toys but not being willing to let go of them. But children of this age imitate the adults, so we tried to give healthy examples of sharing. Sharing food was easy. Sharing toys has been a little more challenging, though preschool is helping. But the abstract sharing of something like “money” with people she can’t even see… way too abstract for her little mind!

We want our child to grow into a compassionate and giving adult. So I am consciously creating an atmosphere of giving now. Once a child reaches elementary school, he or she can begin to understand the abstractions – that there are people in this world who are suffering from lack of healthy food, clean water, medicine, education. Some of them even live right here in our country or our community. When we have resources, should we keep them to ourselves? Or should we share? As Unitarian Universalists, we live our faith by learning to share. We share our search for truth and meaning. We share acceptance with one another despite our differences. We share our worship experiences. And, yes, we share our resources.

One way we share our resources is through action. The Interfaith Hospitality Network families move into the church this week, and it will take an active sharing of many in the congregation to share with families who need so much. Sharing time is so valuable, and families who share together in helping with IHN have an opportunity to grow together in so many ways.

We also share financial resources, both within the church and in the world. First Unitarian relies entirely on financial donations to continue its work, but we also make a conscious effort to raise funds for others several times during the year. We support local organizations, family-based organizations, the Unitarian Universalist Association, and disaster-relief. And, once a year each Halloween, we participate in raising money for UNICEF, the United Nations Children’s Fund.

“Trick or Treat for UNICEF” was started by kids who decided they wanted to make the world a better place so all children can grow up healthy and safe. They began taking the orange boxes with them while they went door to door, asking for donations along with their candy. Since 1950, when Trick-or-Treat for UNICEF started, kids have raised over $164 million in total! All together in 2010, American kids and other contributors collected more than $4.35 million to help UNICEF help kids — isn’t that incredible? Kids have the power to change the world, because it only takes pennies to save a life! When we raise money by Trick-or-Treating for UNICEF, our donation helps UNICEF get children basic, but very important things they need to stay healthy. Things like medicines, safe water to drink, food, and education.

We have the power to make a difference. For example, nearly 900 million people around the world don’t have access to clean water. And nearly half of those people are kids —just 25 cents would pay for enough clean water in a day for 10 kids. So if we raise a dollar, how many kids would we be helping with clean water? 40 kids. What if we raise $10? 400 KIDS. What if we raise $500? We could help UNICEF give 20,000 kids clean water for a day!

First Unitarian Church of Worcester has a long history of participating with Trick-or-Treat for UNICEF. Every year the YRU2 Halloween party proceeds have gone to UNICEF, and individual kids took boxes to collect donations when they went trick-or-treating. This year the Family Ministries Team is working together with YRU2 and BYKOTA to host a UNICEF Halloween Festival and Dance Party on Friday, October 28. The festival, from 5-7 pm, will include a costume contest, arts & crafts, games, a Tarot reader, a toddler room, and a pumpkin decorating contest. Parents are asked to attend with their children. We will collect donations at each of these stations. We also will have information available so people can really see where their donations are going. Then we will transition into a Dance Party for youth and adults. Our goal is to raise at least $500 for UNICEF.

I look forward to sharing with you all next Sunday how much our festival raises. As the icing on the cake, so to speak, the YRU2 will sponsor the traditional UNICEF cakewalk next Sunday during coffee hour. And then our children will be encouraged to take the boxes out again as they Trick-or-Treat on Halloween. UNICEF does not ask kids to sacrifice their Halloween candy. Donations are usually collected in addition to the candy. So even though they are still collecting candy, they are also collecting donations that will help other kids.

My little girl may not be old enough to understand what we’re doing and why, but we’re going to take the little orange UNICEF box with us when we go trick-or-treating on October 31. In this time of the year when we recognize harvest, together we can create a season of giving. We can teach our children to share through our example. May our efforts truly make a difference in the world.