At the church in Baton Rouge, we held a vigil, along with many churches across the country. In Knoxville there was an outpouring of love and support from people of all denominations and faiths. People from many walks of life were standing together against hatred and fear, standing together on the side of love. Out of something truly horrible, a new vision was born.
Inspired by the events following the shooting in Knoxville, in July of 2009 the leadership of the UUA unveiled a public advocacy campaign – Standing on the Side of Love. The goal was to harness love’s power to challenging exclusion, oppression and violence based on sexual orientation, gender identity, immigration status, race, religion, or any other identity, to promote respect for the inherent worth and dignity of every person.
Some acts of violence and oppression, like this shooting, are so clear, but we encounter exclusion, oppression, and violence in small ways all the time. When the bully at school decides to pick on someone else, do you breathe a sigh of relief and ignore it? When you hear someone make a racist or a sexist joke at work, do you stand by silently? How many of us have been guilty of that? When was the last time you spoke, wrote or texted cruelly or unlovingly to someone or about someone? Even as a joke. You never know who is struggling with something, who may be listening. What about unloving thoughts toward yourself? How much of your own criticism tears you down instead of building you up?
In 2010, a hidden-camera show called What Would You Do? focused on gay parenting and involved a waitress — an actress — saying hateful things to two same-sex couples, also actors and actresses, who were dining with their kids at a café in Texas. Two male customers who overheard the waitress’ statements took bold stance in defense of the couple. One of the men confronted the waitress by asking her if she believed in Jesus and then telling her, “Don’t judge.” When the waitress continued to insult the couple, the man wrote a note to the lesbian couple and delivered it to them at their table. “I know it doesn’t mean much but I love you all,” the note said. “You have a beautiful family and I pray that one person’s judgmental intolerance does not in any way put a damper on your hearts or minds.”
The response from customers was slightly different when a gay male couple was involved — at least initially. No one confronted the waitress when she asked the gay couple to leave, and one patron even gave her the thumbs up. But overall, people did intervene, even when the same-sex couple was male.
In Texas, out of 53 bystanders, 24 voiced their support for the gay parents, about half. When the show did the same setup in 2009 in New York, a more liberal state, fewer than a dozen out of 100 bystanders spoke up.
If you were a bystander in this café, would you speak to the waitress? Would you stand on the side of love? Or would you look the other way?
The concept of “Love” is a fundamental part of spirituality. God is love. When Jesus was asked the greatest commandment, he replied: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and mind, and love your neighbor as yourself.” Love God (however you understand God), love your neighbor, love yourself. This reminds me of an acronym I learned in Sunday School: J.O.Y. – Jesus, Others, You. We honor the transcendent and divine. We honor the inherent worth and dignity of each person. And, just as important, we honor our own inherent worth and dignity. This brings us JOY.
From a Buddhist perspective, the Pali word metta means “loving-kindness.” The definition of love in Buddhism is “wanting others to be happy.” This love is unconditional and it requires a lot of courage and acceptance (including self-acceptance). Romantic “love” often relies on self-interest, but metta refers to the unselfish interest in others' welfare. True metta evokes a warm-hearted feeling of fellowship, sympathy and love, which grows boundless with practice and overcomes all social, religious, racial, political and economic barriers. Metta is indeed a universal, unselfish and all-embracing love.
Love is an inspiration to action. Nearly every religion has a version of the “Golden Rule” – Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
Confucianism: "Try your best to treat others as you would wish to be treated yourself, and you will find that this is the shortest way to benevolence." Mencius VII.A.4
Hinduism: This is the sum of duty: do not do to others what would cause pain if done to you. Mahabharata 5:1517
Humanism: "Don't do things you wouldn't want to have done to you, British Humanist Society.
Islam: "None of you [truly] believes until he wishes for his brother what he wishes for himself." Number 13 of Imam "Al-Nawawi's Forty Hadiths."
Judaism: "...thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.", Leviticus 19:18
Taoism: "Regard your neighbor's gain as your own gain, and your neighbor's loss as your own loss." T'ai Shang Kan Ying P'ien.
And there are many more.
The purpose of Standing on the Side of Love is to transform our love into action. This action can be personal, speaking up to injustice in our daily lives, or it may be approaching larger issues of injustice. Many Unitarian Universalist congregations have joined together in social justice projects under the banner of Love. For example, some marched in Hartford, CT, demanding action on a transgender anti-discrimination bill. Others served as a calming presence when Nazis held an anti-immigrant march in Phoenix. Some intervened in Framingham, MA and East Lansing, MI and Woodbridge, VA when the hate-mongering Westboro Baptist Church came to intimidate high school students. And these are just a few examples.
This weekend, thirty teens and ten adults from our district joined together at a Youth Conference where we participated in some social action projects as part of Standing on the Side of Love. The Con was called “I Got UU Babe,” a reminder that we are never alone. We’ve got each other’s backs. We stand together in defense of what we know is right.
At many social justice activities, Standing on the Side of Love supporters can be identified by their bright yellow t-shirts, banners, and signs. When the UUA leadership created this campaign, they were surprised at how quickly the symbol connected people as a united group with a clear message. The yellow T-shirts transform individuals into a community standing together. The yellow T-shirts are a visible sign that we are in solidarity with a larger movement. I think the choice of yellow as the color is interesting in itself. In our children’s Spirit Play classes we associate each color with one of the UU Principles or Promises. The yellow promise is symbolized by a flame, and the words are “Yearn to accept and learn about ourselves, others, and the mystery.” In the adult language, the third principle is “Acceptance of One Another and Encouragement to Spiritual Growth.” The flame represents fire, strength, power, and the force of will. It takes strength to stand up for what we know is right. And yet, when we stand together, we are powerful. We provide light in the darkness.
Sometimes we can put our faith in action in creative ways. After the shooting in Knoxville, I was haunted by the fact that this happened in the middle of a children’s play. As a theatre person, I thought, “This show must go on.” The minister and I decided to offer the play, Annie Jr., in place of our Christmas Pageant. We had some deep discussions about tragedy with the children participating, and they exchanged cards, photos, and letters with the children from the church in Knoxville. While this was a full theatrical production with costumes, sets, and props, it was also a worship service and a prayer of hope. I introduced the play by explaining the tragic circumstances and reading a piece of an essay written by the DRE who was at the Knoxville church during the shooting. I gave a short homily before the offering, honoring that we may have been through dark times, but indeed the sun will come out tomorrow. It was one way the children of that congregation practiced standing on the side of love.
We have so many opportunities and ways to stand on the side of love here. Today, the families from the Interfaith Hospitality Network will move into our Sunday School classrooms downstairs. Over the next two weeks, members of this congregation will show their love as they provide food and hospitality to these homeless families. What are some other things we could do as a congregation to stand for love? How could we get more involved in fighting oppression, exclusion, violence? On March 4th we are going to have a special worship service and coffee hour relating to transgender issues, including a message from a transgender member of our congregation. Our Caring Community task force is seeking ways for the congregation to connect to one another, to show love within. Our Hogwarts summer camp is reaching out to the greater community, sharing our message of love beyond these walls. Only half of the people signed up thus far are from this church. But could we do more? How will we show our faith in action as a congregation? How can we affect each other as individuals?
I would like you to think about someone who inspires you, someone whose words and deeds show that they value treating people fairly or being a helpful part of the community. This person could be someone in this congregation or your family, a teacher, a coach, a neighbor. Just like in our story "The Mish-mash Heart,” this person affected your heart. Changed you in some way.
Take a simple paper heart. As you receive it, think about the people who have inspired you. Think about how you can inspire others. We are re-imagining Valentine’s Day. This heart is yours to give away. You can write a note on it, draw a picture, or just give it as it is. You can give it to someone in this sanctuary or someone else in your life. To someone you know needs some extra love. Or to someone you want to thank for the love they have shown to you.
When you face oppression, will you stand for love? Will you make that commitment? In the fellowship hall, we have a banner on which the youth at the Con signed and wrote messages of love. If you are willing to stand for love, there are fabric markers that you can use to add your name, your message. If you want to wear the message of love, we have a few “I got UU Babe” T-shirts available. But these are just symbolic gestures. The real challenge comes when you hear someone at work or school who is hurting someone else with their words. Will you stand up for them? The challenge comes when you catch yourself saying something hurtful. How can you remind yourself to use more respectful words with your peers, and with yourself? An even more difficult challenge comes when someone hurts you. Will you react with anger, or with loving-kindness? Even when it is difficult, will you stand on the side of love?
